Why is it that we continue to keep people in our lives that cause us grief, spread negative vibes and drag us down. I spent most of my life trying to keep everyone in my life happy. I felt completely responsible for keeping the peace. I felt required to organize and gather people together. I never asked myself do “I” really want to spend my time with them.
I can only recall a few times when I specifically made a personal decision not to spend time with someone before I had weight loss surgery.
It was always very important that everyone LIKED me. I worked very hard at this.
After I lost my weight, I valued myself more. I realized my life and time were valuable. It’s sad I didn’t know this for the prior 34 years.
Let me note. Liking myself…. and Loving myself didn’t happen overnight.
One thing that becomes very clear once you start putting yourself first is that those around you will notice. Quickly.
They notice because it may mean that the relationship you had with them is now changing.
Perhaps you ate lunch with the same group everyday at work. You’d pick a new lunch place each day and indulge in the fare of the day. YUM.
Perhaps you were always available to babysit your friends kids because you never went out on the weekends.
Perhaps you were always available to cook for family or prepare things for them at a drop of a hat.
When you make such a dramatic change in your life, you put yourself first. You MUST. Maintaining your healthy lifestyle is FIRST. You also are now free from the burden of your obesity. You’re ready to get out and live life and you are no longer required to be so available to everyone and their needs.
Some people when they realize that you will no longer be putting them first may become strange. They seem surprised that you are now meeting your own needs NOT everyone else’s.
Hmmm. This was a shock for me. I learned real quick how even family members saw my role in my family.
I wasn’t around now to solve everything. I wasn’t organizing. I didn’t really want that job anymore.
Well it didn’t go over well.
Now there are those that get it. That are totally thrilled that you have put yourself first. They applaud you and help you.
And some others will come around as soon as they realize that YES this change is good for you. They love you, may not be good at change but are more interested in YOU then sticking to the ways things were always done.
Thank you to those people! They are willing to change for you too.
But sadly there are those that will fight change. That will refuse to see that what you have done is for you and your health. To improve your life. They will see it as changing their life. It’s hard to see this happen especially if you love this person.
But I must say to you that it is very important to surround yourself with like minded people.
Those who are also living a healthy lifestyle. Those who support you and care about your well being.
Please consider leaving me a comment. Have you had any struggle with friends, family who have not supported your journey. Have you had to move on? How did this go?
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