My smile has been coming back. I was at the office yesterday which had me out of the house. I found my long commute freeing and my music which always plays in my car made me happy. But I think the biggest positive was I was back into the gym!

I’ve been in a rutt. I’ve been sick. Not feeling well. Feeling sad. The sad piece really makes me concerned. Sad is not an adjective I’d use to describe myself. But saying I’ve been sad is honest. It’s a general sadness. I’ve recognized it and shared it with my husband. The sadness has been affecting everything I do. Today I’ve decided to confront the sadness.

When I am aware of:

1. what I eat and
2. how I move and
3. what I weigh

then I am most well.

It’s been more than a week since my Birthday 5K race.  But I wanted to weigh in with all of you on my results.  I received so many great NIke + cheers during the race and many well wishes as I prepared and during the day.  All of your motivation carried me through the race.

There are friends in the weight loss community which I refer to as my exercise muse.  These are those individuals who make me think about my own exercise efforts.  They inspire me.  They give me incentive to get out there and try other things.  To get out there and move.  Stay active and enjoy a physical life.  Tom from Beariatric.com is one of my exercise muse.

Back in November when I ran Gabe’s Run, the 5K trail run the day after Thanksgiving, my husband bought me these wings after the race.  I LOVED them.  I had such wings that day.  Wings that took me through the 3.25 miles of trails.  Wings that soared with my son as he ran his first 1 mile race.  I held my breath the whole way and I was elated as he crossed the finish line.

Sometimes too much of a good thing is not a good thing. You’ve been in a good routine. No running two days in a row. I know you’ve been delighted with how your running feels but don’t do it two days in a row.

So I broke down. My boys have been rocking their Nike Fuel bands since the holidays. Well my husband prior to the holiday and my son compliments of Santa.  Me I got one this weekend.  Picked it up Friday.  But I didn’t fire it up until Saturday.  My hope is that it will help me understand at the end of the day “Did I MOVE enough?”

I was proud of myself when I got to yoga this morning.  I was standing on my yoga matt and I thought “I’m so proud that I got myself here today.”  I had been short changing myself all weekend with other responsibilities; work, home, family.  And this morning I kept repeating to myself  ”I’m going to yoga this morning.”

Did I actually do that today? Did I post my pre and post holiday weight on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter!? I did it without thinking. I did it because I was happy with myself. Because I wanted to share it with those who’d understand. I did it and it’s not really bothering me.  Why?

I’m a gadget girl for sure.  And my boys are too.  There is a lot of technology in our house.  We’re an active family too.  But I must say, ever since I started training for my 5K this year did the exercise bug get contagious around my house.  I followed the Couch to 5K program to get ready for Gabes Run where I was going to be

There were days when the idea of going out in the cold was not even a consideration for me. And not because I’d be cold. Since when you’re obese you have a burner inside yourself that heats you constantly. The reason I wouldn’t go out was because I had no interest. And maybe some fear. Fear of falling. Today things are

First week of the year.  The gym is packed with people filled with passion towards their new years resolutions.  Did you know that 80% of new years resolutions are related to health?  Some of the new people at the gym this week are there to lose weight, others to tone up, others to get fit, perhaps others to please someone else.

Today is Christmas. Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates today. There are a lot of emotions that go along with holidays. I shudder a little bit each year. There are a lot of expectations and some how I never quite overcome them all. This year was different.  I walked bravely towards this holiday.

So this week was a whirlwind. I’m just thinking… when have I not had a whirlwind week?! But this week, well the beginning of the week, besides lots of work, I was consumed by the process of buying a new car! Wait two new cars! Yikes. It was a fun process but time consuming and TIRING! So I was a bit neglectful with my social media outlets.

So this is my long awaited recap of my 5K.  Race day was perfect.  Dry and warm for a November morning.  I was ready and nervous.  I was on my own.  I know that is a funny thing to say, but I was physically on my own.  When you run a race you are a team of one in a mass of other runners.  I felt very alone.  And then that felt ok.  I had been running by myself for months, why did I all of a sudden feel like I needed someone else there with me?

Well I’m not sure I did the right thing.  Yesterday I had a chance to walk the 5K route that I will run on Friday.  The organizers for this charity event had cleared the trails on Saturday and were walking the trails with the volunteers for familiarization and to mark support points on the route.  They opened this walkthrough up to the runners if you wanted to see the trail.  Yes, it’s a trail run.  NOT on the road.  Have I made the right decision? 

I’m not sure why my mind is fooling with me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Arch enemies typically play on vulnerabilities. My mind has always been my worst enemy. My doubter. It knows I am easily affected. And it’s really working on me about my race next week. But wait!

After you’ve made it through that work out, you know the one you didn’t think you’d get through.  You know the one that almost didn’t happen because you started late, because you were thinking “maybe I’ll do it tomorrow.”  After that work out the shower is the best.  When you climb into that little booth of private celebration.

I wrote an email reply today and it struck me hard. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I thought I’d share it with you.

Just a quick video blog today.  We made it through Hurricane Sandy with not much damage.  Lots of branches and leaves down.  My heart goes out to the those in NJ and NY.  I work with many people in Manhattan and Jersey City and they have been hammered by this storm.  You are all in my prayers.  I tried to get out for a run today.  The sun came out and by the time I got my kicks on it started to rain.  So I headed for the treadmill and kicked 5K.  That’s my number now.  5K and this is why.

Has anyone ever told you that you can’t do something? How did it make you feel? Did it make you angry? Did it make you feel defeated? How did it affect your next move? Were angry and became so determined you motivated yourself? Or did you retreat from the defeat you felt, with your bubble burst, walking away from what could be? Some of us are defeated by those who tell us we can’t. But what about ourselves? Are you your own doubter?

What do you think about as you prepare to exercise? I do my exercise in the morning before breakfast before anything. It takes some thinking and some preparing and some motivating to get me out of bed and get those running shoes on. There’s a lot of mental work to getting started for any kind of exercise or movement. Here’s what I figured out over the years that makes it work.

I feel as if I’ve overcome an issue I’ve had with looking at myself.  Earlier in the year I wasn’t liking what I saw in the mirror.  Some thought this was strange because I had already taken off a lot of weight more than 130 pounds and I had kept it off for 12 years.  But I yearned for that girl in the mirror I saw at my lowest weight after weight loss surgery.

My summit of my three mile mountain is complete.  I did it.  I feel as if I can now do my regular run at 3 miles.  Consistently.  I created a quick video about the mental aspect of this summit.  All comes down to Just Do It!

There were a couple of surprises for me today.  First off I jumped on the scale and felt really good about what I saw.  I haven’t weighed myself in a while actually let’s be exact, since August 27th.  My losing my regain page can show you my history.  But I was exactly the same weight.  I love that.  I didn’t expect that.  I was ready to be accountable for my last four weeks of no weighing in and there it was.  I was happy.  I have been running three times a week and watching my portions, but to be honest have not focused on losing. I’ve been more focused on running, I’m committed to three days a week.  So why was I crying?

Do you remember when you learned how to whistle? Was it easy? Did you ever really get it? My son recently took on the skill of whistling. Or should I say, he has started to teach himself how to whistle. I’ve been watching the process and listening with much patience. He has a good approach. First he asked almost every adult he has contact with to tell him about when they learned to whistle. He listened to their stories and asked questions.

I thought I might share a couple of the recent questions I’ve received. My Ask Tiny Tank volume has been booming lately. Lots of great people asking good questions. I think it may be from the my new Facebook Page. We are all so lucky to have this online community available to us. Facebook. Twitter. Blogs. When I had surgery there was my hospital’s support group and it was a struggle to get to it since it was more than 20 miles away.