Let Me Tell You Why I Was Crying On The Treadmill Again

There were a couple of surprises for me today.  First off I jumped on the scale and felt really good about what I saw.  I haven’t weighed myself in a while actually let’s be exact, since August 27th.  My losing my regain page can show you my history.  But I was exactly the same weight.  I love that.  I didn’t expect that.  I was ready to be accountable for my last four weeks of no weighing in and there it was.  I was happy.  I have been running three times a week and watching my portions, but to be honest have not focused on losing. I’ve been more focused on running, I’m committed to three days a week.  So why was I crying?

Well today was a running day.  And if you can remember I’ve been running regularly now about 2 miles on each run.  My ultimate goal is to be able to run 3 miles.  My brain has been telling me I’m not ready.

I started couch to 5 K using the iPhone app Run 5k – Felt Tip Inc. about a year ago.  Made it through the 9 week program.  Was able to run for 30 minutes straight but never quite covered the 3 miles in 30 minutes.  I have the ability to work out for a 30 minutes stretch as part of my day.  So my goal is to get that 3 miles in in around 30 minutes!

One thing I know about myself is that if I’m going to exercise regularly it needs to fit neatly into my day.  For me I must exercise in the morning when my family is still asleep.  Or when they are not around.  Yeah I have that crazy disease that if someone needs me I help them before myself.  I’m working on it.

Ok back to the crying.

Today was a treadmill day for me.  Wednesdays I am at my company office gym.  The other day when I wrote about the whistler, I talked about perseverance and my commitment to my running goals.  3 miles is my goal.  It’s been a mental struggle for me.  The last two weeks I’ve been running 2.25 miles, why can’t I run 3.  I should just go for it and prove it to myself.

Well, this morning I had the time.  I stepped onto the treadmill and looked at the clock and said to myself, “let’s just go for it!”

I had my doubts during the run but I kept thinking about the whistler.  I kept thinking about Holly and one of her blog posts that has stuck with me for a long while. Where was the Gisele?  My running muse who usually runs next to me at the office, she wasn’t in today.

But you know what?  It was just me and the treadmill today and I was going to do it.

As I worked my way through a God given play list on my iPhone, I came to the song by Miley Cyrus called “The Climb.”  If you haven’t heard it is worth a listen. That song brought me to the end of the third mile and brought the tears!

Yes there I was on the treadmill crying again.  As I crossed my finish line I raised my arms.  I didn’t care who was around, I had run 3 miles without stopping in close to 30 minutes.

Worth a good cry!!!