Finding Peace in Your Responsibilities
Recently I’ve discovered something. Well maybe it’s been building up and just now I am realizing it. I’ve been making changes in my daily living for the past two years. Changes in my exercise. Changes in the amount of stuff I need. Changes in the foods I eat and the amount of it.
Changes in the amount of stress I put on myself to get things done.
Changes in my need to gain each persons approval.
Changes in my need to say yes to everyone.
And there’s an underlying aspect to the success of all of these changes.
and that is Peace.
Finding Peace in each task I take on.
Let me give you example of what I mean.
It kind of dawned on me tonight that I’ve finally found peace with my kitchen clean up.
The kitchen in my house is a very busy place. I prepare three meals a day. No pre packaged foods. Just food, me and some eaters. And what this also means is lots of dishes and pan. Ughhh.
I require a cleaned area. It gives me the shakes if my work area is not clean. I guess I need a clean slate.
I use to rush though dinner because I knew there was clean up! Ughhhh! I remember that.
But some how my changes have taught me to slow down and take one thing at a time. No rushing. I’ve been able to find peace in each responsibility. Why dread what you have to do? Find peace and pleasure knowing you are fulfilling your responsibility.
I remember my mother use to sit and drink her tea and have a cookie after dinner. After the meal, we would all be off to do our thing. My sister would practice her piano and my Mom would sit and enjoy her time. Once she had her time. She would then clean up. Methodically clean up in a very relaxed manner. I noticed this but I’m not sure I understood it.
When my mother comes to visit me she always does the dishes. Mind you I’ve objected but it’s her thing. We hang out together and she does the dishes. I asked recently if she liked doing dishes and she said “not particularly.” I told her about how I had always noticed her calm after dinner and how she peacefully cleaned up.
She said “it is what it is and I try to enjoy whatever it is that I am doing. I can either make it hard or I can make it enjoyable.”
BINGO!
Tonight as we finished dinner, I was not in a rush. The boys installed my new printer in the kitchen, while I had a bit of chocolate. Feet up. Then I sat with Ryan as he read his new book to me for a bit. Adorable. Then I got started. I took my time. I had some music on. I was at peace.
I think this is the stuff that feeds happiness.
Please consider leaving me a comment. Are there routine tasks that you find peace in? Has it always been that way?
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Comments (18)
CathyO
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I love this post! it is so challenging to find peace in the routine activities of our lives but I am so glad you found some. I loved reading this and how you have come to accept the dish washing even if not embracing it!
I dont enjoy doing the dishes but I do try to take time to feel how the water feels on my hands and how the dishes feel – just experience the tactile part of washing the dishes. Not necessarily fun but part of practicing mindfulness. I try to do that with everything (yoga has really helped me with this, cant say enough good about yoga) but it takes practice.
I love that your son read his new book to you too. My mom used to read a lot and we always went to the library once a week to get a stack of books and it is one of my favorite memories of growing up! Thanks for sharing, as always
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my tiny tank
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Hi Cathy. thanks. I am so proud that I have found peace in my kitchen clean up. I really do now just take my time, shuffle around the kitchen and find huge satisfaction when I turn out the lights to go upstairs. I think about my mother
I had my Mom over a few weeks ago and after dinner we were all sitting at the table nibbling some chocolate. Ryan came over and sat in my lap. All nine years of him. He’s not a tiny little boy any more. But I never turn away a lap snuggle. My Mom was delighted when she saw him do this. She recalled how we all use to come and sit in her lap after dinner. Fun how things like that perpetuate. Maybe it’s in the genes.
I do agree with you about the yoga. I don’t get to my yoga class as much as I should. Yoga has helped me to gain more peace with my body. I talked about it in this blog post. It’s a post I reread when I need to. thanks for your comment.
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Tom
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Several years back I made it a priority to spend 30 minutes in my very early morning after getting up relaxing before I start the day. It makes all the difference in starting the day off relaxed.
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my tiny tank
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Hi Tom. Oh you have such a good suggestion. I try to take a few minutes in bed when I wake up. Maybe time for a morning prayer or just some time to become centered and ready for my day. But it isn’t merely enough
I think that is why I LOVE running in the morning. It is my time to think and be by myself.
I have tried to be still more often in the day. If I do have some time I try to use it being still. At first it was hard to be still and some days I am not successful, but when I can be still it is am amazing energizer for mindfulness.
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Julia
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Great post. I think it’s definitely important to take time to find peace in the things we do. Like Cathy mentioned, I think my yoga practice has really helped me with this, as has the mediation class I took in the fall.
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my tiny tank
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Hi Julia. Yoga has so many benefits and I agree the peace found when doing yoga comes along with the physical benefits.
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Donna
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I need peace. I need yoga! I loved this post . . . I sometimes choose to NOT cook dinner because I don’t enjoy the clean up part. Not sure why clean up is always my job and I guess I’m just bucking the system because I can. I don’t HAVE to eat – I’m not hungry. So there. But then I feel terrible because my little pouchy stomach needs food – I NEED food to survive. When I do clean up, I am thorough. I too like things neat and clean and all in their place. IF someone else cleans up – I am uber critical (even if I don’t voice it) and end out doing stuff over because it isn’t good enough. I have two-blocked myself into always cleaning and then NOT WANTING to always clean. Sheesh. What a head case! LOL Anyway, this was a great post and I appreciate the push towards peace!
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my tiny tank
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Donna, I can relate. Sometimes I think…”I’m not hungry why do I have to cook!” then I see those lovely boys and get to work. I think I’ve had some resentment in the past for always being the cook and dishwasher. But now I am finding peace in my responsibility. I see the value I provide and the boys always show there appreciation.
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Robin
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I love this post. It reminds me of what my mother use to tell me also. Do the things you don’t like to do first, get it out of the way, then you can enjoy everything else.
I like the way your mother looked at it too. Think I’ll try that.
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my tiny tank
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Robin, your Mom has great advice!! And I actually have tried to teach the Whistler that approach too. Especially when it comes to homework. My Mom always you to say “Have a little fun everyday!” it is so true.
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Marie
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I’ve let clutter build up in my kitchen, living room and bedroom. I find when I catch myself and think…you GOTTA clean this! then the very next realization is I’ve just come out soem mild depression. I tend to get stressed and not realize it….but need an escape. That’s usually food in front of the tv…months of it on a nightly basis. When “light dawns over Marblehead” (it’s a Mass thing) I get bummed because I then realize I’ve BEEN depressed and didn’t even know it. Just floating through life in a grey haze. The house is clean, just cluttered and then I get focused to where I can’t stop until it’s done. To make a long post short (too late) I find peace and positivity when the clutter is gone…oddly, right now I’m finding peace in the responsibilityof walking daily and eating right. (never thought I’d say that!)
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my tiny tank
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Hi Marie, I love how you ended your comment with the peace you have found in caring for yourself!! Walking, eating healthier!! Such a gift. You are giving yourself a huge gift and finding peace in it as well. Bravo!!
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Wendy
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What a wonderful way to end a meal. I remember when the kids were young and they were doing the dishes, hubby and I would sit at the table, listen to their rhetoric in the kitchen and enjoy a coffee and cigarette. We quit smoking 26 years ago and never again sat at the table enjoying the calm. It had to stop as we always associated that time with a cigarette. I think it would be a great idea to re-institute that time, sans kids and sans cigarettes. I didn’t realize how much I missed that time until I read your post today. Thanks for always making me think Tracy.
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my tiny tank
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Hi Wendy. When I first met my husband I couldn’t sit still after a meal. His family are huge talkers. They would sit for hours after a meal and talk. I found it painful and use to jump up to do the dishes. Now after 10 years with my husband and now that I have taught myself to sit still, I LOVE sitting and chatting after a meal. It has been so nice for our relationship too!!
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Jennifer Beltran
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I find peace in just being “still”. I love to lay in the sun whether at the beach or buy the pool reading a good book or doing crosswords. Just being still and enjoying the warm sun on my face and the sound of birds chirping or airplanes flying overhead. This for me is perfection and brings me great peace
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my tiny tank
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Jennifer you are so “on” with your approach of being still. I have always had a hard times being still. I always felt like I needed to be doing something. Well those days have past! I treasure my still time now
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jessica
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I just found your page a few weeks back on pintrest(i think). I should be having RNY in april. I am still going threw your blog and learning about you. But i must say thank you for sharing your journey with everyone. It helps when i need motovation when i get scared. It will help post-op when i get tired of struggling, or want to quit. Thank you!
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my tiny tank
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Hi Jessica. thanks for reading AND commenting. It’s the comments that keep me going. I write each day to clear my mind and keep going. I find the comments that everyone leaves just as helpful if not more that the posts! Please come back often and let us know when your surgery is. There is a lot of Tiny Tank love. If you are on Facebook than this group is very friendly and a good source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MyTinyTank/ come on by and ask to join! see you around. Also if you have any questions feel free to use the “Ask Tiny Tank” tab on mu site.
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